Its been a while since i've written my diary. I keep getting far too distracted. partly with studies, partly with my social life... and indeed, my love life.
K and myself... its a big thing for me. But i love him. Adore him, in fact, and he will give me a baby. i told him that i wanted one, and he agreed. part of me wants to sob that i left it as long as i did. Curse society for disapproving of us if we were to become more... open.
Not only is there him, there is another who claims to love me. A young major. has his own share of scandals. he says he adores me too, will fight for me, i wonder if he'd do the same for a child of mine... one that might be implied as his? it doesnt matter. K will keep me safe. i trust him. The new one... well, i like him. he's a decent sort, and a good fuck, he reminds me a lot of myself, but whether i'd want to marry someone so similar to me... no matter.
my cousin Andrei arrived in the village. i will be hoping to introduce him to the order, and hopefully K will approve. Andrei will have a lot to offer, i only hope he manages to keep his temper for long enough to resist trying to blast people to pieces or something similar.
befriended a spirit, and now it lives in my reflection. Cashlin. Its a vain, spiteful, simple minded little thing, and it adores blood. Ive been feeding it when i can, and it seems to be hunting ducks when it can too... i certainly hope it doesnt start snatching anyone else. K has a spirit now too, a stalker that i gave birth to. it was painful, but ill give more than that for him if he wanted it
next time i write, i might be with child... i cant help but be pleased. My lion...
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